The Rules- Time-tested Secrest for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
NOTE: Thanks to Tiff for giving me this gem of a book. I thought it was so good that I decided I needed to share it with the world. Therefore, I have compiled what I believe to be some of the most important rules, and the suggestions that go with them, for catching Mr. Right. Enjoy!
THE RULES
1. Be a "Creature Unlike Any Other"
2. Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
3. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
4. Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
5. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
6. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
7. Don't Date a Married Man
8. Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need "The Rules"
9. Do "The Rules," Even When Your Friends and Parents Think It's Nuts
10. Don't Discuss "The Rules" With Your Therapist
11. Do "The Rules" and You'll Live Happily Ever After!
Meet a Rules Girl:
"Don't leave the house without wearing makeup. Put lipstick on even when you go jogging! Do everything you possibly can to put your best face forward. If you have a bad nose, get a nose job; color gray hair; grow your hair long. Men prefer long hair, something to play with and caress. It doesn't matter what your hairdresser and friends think. You're certainly not trying to attract them! The point is, we're girls! WE don't want to look like boys."
"Now a word about clothes. If you walk around in any old clothes on the theory that what counts is only what's inside...think again! Men like women who wear fashionable, sexy clothes in bright colors. Why not please them? Don't aspire to the unisex look. Buy feminine-looking clothes to wear on the weekends as well as during the workweek. Remember that you are dressing for men, not other women, so always strive to look feminine."
Be a Creature Unlike Any Other: "When you go to singles dances or parties, you pump yourself up. You pretend you're a movie star. You hold your head high and walk in as if you just flew in from Paris on the Concorde. YOu're only in town for one night and if some lucky hunk doesn't swoop down and grab you it'll be his loss! If you think you aren't pretty, if you think other girls are better dressed or thinner or cooler, you keep it to yourself. You tell yourself 'Any man would be lucky to have me,' until it sinks in and you start to believe it."
Don't Talk to a Man First and Don't Ask Him to Dance: "By talking to a man first, we interfere with whatever was supposed to happen or not happen, perhaps causing a conversation or a date to occur that was never meant to be and inevitably getting hurt in the process. After all, the premise of 'The Rules' is that we never make anything happen, that we trust in the natural order of things--namely, that man pursues woman."
Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much: "Don't look anxiously around for 'The One.' There is nothing attractive about anxiety. There will always be moments on a date when neither of you has anything to say. Don't feel the need to fill in these silences. You'll end saying something stupid and forced. Sometimes men just want to drive in silence without saying a word. Let them. Maybe he's thinking about how he's going to propose to you one day. Don't run his concentration.
Don't Call Him, and Rarely Return His Calls: "Don't worry about seeming rude. When he loves you or wants to get in touch with you badly, he won't think you're rude, just busy or hard to get--and men always call again. Life has enough pain without our adding man pain to it. We can't control cancer or drunk drivers, but we can restrain ourselves from dialing his number. One last thought about the phone: sometimes we want to call a man we are dating not to speak to him, but just to hear his voice. We feel that we are simply going to die if we don't hear his sexy voice this minute! That's understandable. We suggest you call his his answering machine when he's at work. Hang up before the beep. It really works!"
Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday: "The best way to encourage him to phone sooner is to turn him down when he calls on Thursday for Saturday night. Hopefully he will get the hint. Nicely say, 'No, wow, I wish I wasn't busy!' Then sigh and get off the phone. He will soon realize that you simply want to be asked in advance for a date. Don't be offended, just train them to call earlier without actually demanding it of them. If you play your cards right, he will reach the conclusion that the only way to see you whenever he wants, at the last minute, is to marry you!"
Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Give You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day: "This is not a rule for gold diggers; it's just that when a man wants to marry you, he usually gives you jewelry, not sporty or practical gifts like a toaster oven or a coffee maker. One point about greeting cards: check to see if he signs 'love.' If he doesn't sign it 'love,' don't assume he does. Just read what's written! When you do receive gifts, don't overreact. "
Don't Date a Married Man: "All women who date married men suffer from low self-seteem, or why would they settle for so little? We are not big advocates of therapy, but we believe it would be worth $125 an hour to find out why you would do this to yourself. If you have recently met a married man that you are mad about, then you must practice self-restraint. If he is everything you ever wanted in a husband, be friends with him and hope he gets divorced. By the end, you are always crying on the shoulders of girlfriends and wishing his wife would die."
Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need "The Rules": "If you didn't do 'The Rules' at the beginning of your relationship, your husband might ignore you, talk to you rudely, or treat you badly. You might wonder, 'Is his behavior the result of bad upbringing or something in his past?' Maybe. But we believe it's because you didn't do the rules."
Do "The Rules," Even When Your Friends and Parents Think It's Nuts: "If you can't find any like-minded women to support you in doing 'The Rules,' just read this book a lot, carry it around in your purse to refer to on long supermarket lines, and practice what you read as much as possible. Believe us, if you do 'The Rules,' you'll be so busy dating your future husband to care or even think about what anyone else is doing or what anyone else things of what you are doing."
Don't Discuss the Rules with Your Therapist: "Some therapists will think that 'The Rules' are dishonest and manipulative. They will encourage you to be open and vulnerable in your relationships with men, to talk things out, not to keep your feelings of love or hurt inside. Self-improvement is great--we can all be better in many areas. But simply being a better person won't get you the man or your dreams. You have to do 'The Rules!'"
Do "The Rules" and You'll Live Happily Ever After: "It's that simple. You do 'The Rules' and trust that one day a prince will notice that you're different from all other women he's known, and ask for you hand! Incredible, unbelievable payoffs:
-he wants to marry you!
-when you are seated at a booth in a restaurant, he slides over and sits next to you. Sitting opposite you is just too far away when he's truly in love.
-he writes you love notes or poetry for you and tapes them on the refrigerator door.
-if you call him at work, he'll always want to talk to you even if he's busy.
-he doesn't like it when you go to bachelorette parties.
-when you walk around the house with very little on, he whistles, as though you were a babe on the beach.
-when he loves you, he loves your kids."
The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
(c) 1995 Warner Books, Inc.
I guess that's what I'm not married yet. I haven't been following "The Rules!"
