Driven

I'm taking a Preparing for a Celestial Marriage class for institute this semester. I had registered when I was still with Trent. And when school started, I was going to switch classes. I thought it would be too hard to take the class when a wedding isn't in my near future anymore. But I had a feeling I should go and at least see how it would be. And I was glad I did. The first lesson made me realize I need to work on myself before I can expect to share my life with someone else. I need to learn to accept who I am and not let loneliness or the need of love from others determine who I become.

I learned that I am a recipe driven person. I follow a recipe exactly every time and I get the same result. I'm scared of change. I don't like to try new things for fear of it ending badly. This leads to living my life planned by circumstance. I want something, I have it planned out the way I want it to result in, and I live my life to get that result. But living that life won't get me anywhere. It will lead me to possible disappointment. "Those who become great cooks are the ones who have made mistakes, made changes, tried something new, and never gave up." They cook by feel. I've got to feel my way through life.

So, I need to learn to be principle driven. "As you seek spiritual knowledge, search for principles. Carefully separate them from the detail used to explain them. Principles are concentrated truth, packaged for application to a wide variety of circumstances. A true principle makes decisions clear even under the most confusing and compelling circumstances..." I need to be at peace with the circumstances I am in. Don't let the circumstance control me. Don't keep looking down. Look up and trust God.

:)