Quote of the Day

Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. 

Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. 

Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. 

Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

-Author Unknown

xoxo

:)

Familia

I've had a couple of conversations lately about if I would ever move away and live somewhere besides Utah.  My argument is always the same, that it would be so hard for me to leave my family.  Sure it would be awesome to explore the world and gain the experiences you might only get from being off on your own somewhere else.  But I love my family, and I love living close to all of them.

I don’t think people realize how close I am with my family.  I’m not even talking about just my immediate family but my relatives as well.  I am best friends with all my cousins.  I know all of them by name.  I could even list off most of their children.  I’ve grown up always doing things with my family.  Both of my parents come from a family of six kids, and both only have one sibling that lives outside of Utah.  The rest live within an hour and half of my house.  So being part of a very big family and being able to see the majority of them whenever I want is what I’m used to.  And the thought of changing that doesn't make sense to me.  I've loved growing up knowing all of my cousins, and I want the same experience for my future children.

After the last conversation I had though, I started questioning myself.  Could I move away?  What sort of adventures am I missing out on by not ever wanting to move away?  Am I being too big of a baby saying it would be hard for me?  The fact that the longest I've stayed away from home was three weeks?  Does that make me pathetic?  But then a family event happened this week that disregarded those questions. 

This week my brothers have been playing on a March madness basketball league.  It is put on through Murray and each year of graduates can get a team together to play against the other years.  Now, it’s just a little fun tournament, nothing too big and it only lasts one week, but my family goes to support and watch them.  Tuesday night, my entire family was there except my two younger siblings (due to rebellion and leaving for their own [softball] tournament in St George.)  Even my grandparents showed up.  So yes, there were 21 of us there cheering on my two brothers.

It was as I was sitting there with everyone when I looked around and realized why I didn't want to move away from my family.  I love the support and friendships we all have with each other.  No matter what is going on, we are there for each other.  My siblings are my best friends.  My nieces and nephews are all best friends.  Who would ever want to leave that?

So call me a baby.  Call me pathetic.  Call me whatever you’d like.  I don’t want to move away from my family.  If I am missing out on experiences out in the world, I don’t care.  People say “you don’t know what you’re missing.”  And they’re right.  I don’t know what I’m missing.  But I do know what I’d be missing at home if I were to leave.  So I’m perfectly content staying where I’m at. 

xoxo

:)

Update

My life lately has really only consisted of work.  But seeing as how most people like to hear about the dating life, I will include a brief update on that topic as well.

I quit my job at Valet Auto Body and have started work at O.C. Tanner.  It was a hard change for me at first.  I struggled with saying goodbye to my co-workers and going to a new job with new people.  I had finally gotten the hang of things at the body shop that I was scared to have to learn something new again.  But I have now been at O.C. Tanner for two months and I am so glad I made the switch.  I love my job and the people I work with.  Not to mention the many benefits I now get that weren’t offered at my last job.  So I’m pretty happy with where I am at.  I plan to be here for a long time.  And to answer those questions of what my job actually consists of; I work at the retail store, not the home office, as an accounting clerk.  The main part of my job is what they call the dailies.  I look through all the receipts a day at a time to make sure every sale was rung up right, that the computer matches the credit card machines, that the right sales people get credit for their sales, etc.  I also submit payroll, send out statements, do a lot of end of month reports, and random other little accounting type things.

 I am not dating anyone.  I haven’t since Josh and I broke up.  No I am not still depressed about it all.  Josh and I actually had a really good talk a couple weeks after the break up and things are good between us.  We are still friends.  Which maybe shouldn’t be the case, but I’ve come to realize I am friends with the majority of my exes.  My life is not normal in that aspect.  For example, let me tell the great story about my weekend following Valentine’s Day.  In the time frame of 24 hours, I ran into and talked to four out of the six guys I have kissed.  Three of which were in the same room at the same time.  And the best part about this story, I witnessed the fourth, who just happened to be my first boyfriend, propose to his now fiancé.  Now I realize I could have been all upset and depressed that I ran into all my failed relationships right after Valentine’s Day.  Talk about rubbing it in my face that I’m still single.  But all I really did was laugh.  I mean, what are the chances of all of that happening?  Yeah, not likely!  So of course it happened to me haha.  But I’ll accept it.  It keeps my life interesting and leaves me with pretty great stories to tell.

·         So life is great!  I can’t complain about anything.  Well, I could, but there is no point.  The good things in life far out way the bad that if I complained, I’d just be an ungrateful brat. 

xoxo

:)

I spoke too soon..

..I am now feeling a lot more sad about my life. 

Remember in my last post I talked about my situation and how it was a good thing I was dating someone?  Well, we broke up the day after I posted that.  So looks like those juicy details I promised for a later post will never get published.  It will stay in draft form. 

Break ups are never easy.  I might say this has been the worst so far.  My past break ups have been ones I've seen coming, or at least I realized afterward there were signs of something wrong.  This one took me completely by surprise.  Other break ups, I've gotten the feeling it was the right thing to do and was able to rely on that peaceful feeling to keep me strong through it all.  For this one, I'm still searching for that feeling.  

So, my heart is broken.  It is starting to heal, but very slowly.  I think I have mastered the motto "fake it till you make it."  I have learned to hide my true feelings and people think I'm completely fine.  But I'm not.  I know I will be.  I know that everything happens for a reason.  I know that my Heavenly Father knows what is best for me.  I have faith that he knows what he is doing.  I know in my past I have wanted many things that haven't happened.  I was devastated at first, but looking back I realize how much better my life is now not having gone the way I planned.  So I trust that everything will work out.

One thing that has always been a blessing after a crappy breakup, is realizing how many people I have in my life that I can count on.  I have people that will sit with me while I cry, talk to me on the phone for forty minutes just to distract me, make me get out of bed and leave my room to go do something, will drive an hour and a half just to be with me, buy me food and force me to eat it.  Seriously, the list goes on and on.  So thank you.  Thanks to all of you out there who love me enough to stay by my side during the hard times.  

:)

Lesson learned

My dear grandmother came up to me a week ago at my nephew's baby blessing and reminded me it has been too long since my last post.  I'm going to skip all the apologies and the promises to be better.  Cause let's face it, they aren't worth much when I never change anyways. 

Life has been great lately.  It's my favorite time of the year.  I love to see all the leaves turn different colors and the weather get cool enough to where it's the perfect temperature to be outside.  It has also been an interesting fall considering the fact that I'm not in school.  For seventeen years I have always started school at the end of August.  That is a long habit to break.  Especially when all of your friends go back to school.  So it was definitely a weird adjustment to realize I really am done with school.  That my job is my life now.  I have to admit I was sad.  To hear all my friends talk about who they are living with and what fun things they plan to do this next school year.  I was going to be out of the social scene.  And even when I go visit friends and see them enjoying the college life, I get sad.  But then I hear them talk about tests and how much homework they have and I'm back to being completely content with not being in school.  But it still puts me in an awkward position.  I don't feel like I fit in anywhere anymore.  All my friends my age are either married or in school.  I belong to neither category.  Instead, I'm a college graduate, living at home, and working full time.  It's a good thing I'm dating someone, or else I'd feel way more sad about my life situation.
(Yes, I am dating someone.  Which most people already know that fact.  But that topic will be discussed in a later post so you'll just have to wait for those juicy details ;) haha)

But for now, here is an interesting story for ya'll..

I can now say that my car has been towed AND booted all in the SAME DAY.  Seriously.  That happened. It was on October 13th.  Josh and I drove down to Provo that morning in order to enjoy some BYU Homecoming festivities.  We went to the parade and got ready for the football game.  We ended up being a little late to the game so Josh decided to park in the parking lot of an apartment complex thinking no one would check because of personal experience at that particular apartment.  I hesitated but considering I was already missing the game and still needed to find a ticket, I didn't protest too much.  First mistake.  We made our way to the stadium, found me a ticket, and then enjoyed the game with our friends.
Josh and I left the game early to beat the crowd and make it up to Salt Lake in time to see my good friend Heather get engaged.  We hurried to my car only to find my car not where we parked it.  Wonderful.  So we make our way over to the sign we ignored and called the tow company.  Now, since we were in a hurry, we decided to call Josh's roommate to pick us up and give us a ride.  Second mistake.  Little did we realize our communication of where we would be waiting didn't go through to him.  We waited for about 25 minutes with no signs of our ride and no luck in getting a hold of him.  By this time, the game had ended and traffic was increasing.  So much for trying to beat traffic.  So what do we do?  We run.  Note to self: work out more.  I was dying.  The cold air wasn't helping the fact that I was out of shape.  My lungs struggled and I coughed a lot.  But luckily the tow place was only a mile away so it wasn't too bad.  We got there and had to wait in line because they only let one customer in at a time.  Lame.  And after paying a lovely price of $175, we were finally on our way to Salt Lake.
Now oddly enough, we didn't get caught in too much traffic and we were making great time.  I was praying that we would make it in time.  But we barely missed the proposal by five minutes!  I had my friend Emily facetime me so I at least got to see it happen and then we parked and ran and was still able to congratulate and celebrate with the happy couple.
Afterwards, we continued our night with Heather and Cody on a double date.  We decided to drive separately to the restaurant and then carpool from there to the haunted house.  Third mistake.  So we met at Chili's and enjoyed a yummy dinner and some time catching up with each others lives.  We finished eating and decided to hop into Cody's car.  We stopped by a store real quick to buy a movie and then made our way to Nightmare of 13th.  We had a fun time at the haunted house.  I always love to get scared.  Although I hate how expensive haunted houses are.  But it was worth spending time with the people I was with.  And Josh learned that if he ever tries to disappear on me during something scary, I will find him and punch him hahah.
We left the haunted house and got dropped back off at my car.  We said our goodbyes and walked to my car to find a lovely surprise.  A boot.  You've got to be kidding me!  Seriously, how can someone be so unlucky to get towed AND booted in one day?  Curse it all.  So we looked around and found the small signs, no where near my car, that says the parking lot has a two hour time limit.  We call the guy to come remove the boot and when he shows up, we try and plead our case.  We gave him the sob story of our day and asked him to just remove the boot and not charge us.  But of course that doesn't work.  I still had to pay and could try to appeal it online.  Which I have done, and am still waiting to hear back on.  But that was our day.  I would have cried if Josh hadn't been so calm about it all.  He just kept laughing, so I laughed too.  We went back to my house and watched the movie we bought earlier to just relax and try to forget the money spent that day.  Which, in total, between Josh and I, was $332.  And that isn't including the amount spent in gas driving to and from Provo.
So, lesson learned.  Be careful where you choose to park.  Always look around for signs of warning for towing and boots.  Because trust me, even though it made for a great story to tell, it still was not fun spending all that money.


:)

Minniesoooda

I took a trip out to Minnesota this summer.  I know what you must be thinking.. why Minnesota?  It's not the typical place you'd think to take a vacation to.  But for me, it was a chance to visit some family as well as some great friends of mine who were out there selling insulation for the summer.  

It was a sudden decision.  I bought my ticket only a week before I left.  I didn't even really plan anything that I'd do there.  I just went. 

It was the first time I had flown on a plane by myself.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.  I started freaking out on the way to the airport.  But once I got in the airport, I was fine.  And then five hours later, I was in Minnesota!  

Nick and Josh picked me up from the airport.  They made plans for me to join them at the midnight premiere of Batman, so we figured it was best for them to pick me up and take me to my aunt and uncles after the movie.  So after a lot of hugs, we got in the car and drove to the movie theater where we met up with most of the other guys out there to sell insulation.  So it was me and a bunch of guys.  Can't say I was too disappointed with those odds :).  It was a lot of fun though.  Catching up with Nick, Josh, and Sam (the boys I went to visit) as well as meeting many new people, can't say I wasn't enjoying myself.  And then the movie started.  I've got to admit, I was a little disappointed.  I think I had a little too high of expectations.  It was still a good movie, but I didn't love it.  Then finally at 3:30 in the morning, we made our way to my aunt and uncle's house.  Luckily my cousins Taylor and Jayden went to see the movie at midnight too so my aunt was still awake when we got to the house.  The boys (which for the remainder of this post will mean Josh, Nick and Sam) all walked me to the door, met my aunt, and then said goodnight and left.  

I slept in the next morning.  When I woke up, my aunt had a super yummy breakfast made.  Some sort of peach pancake type thing.  It was delicious.  We sat and talked while eating and then I explored the house.  It was fun to finally see where they have been living the past nine years or so.  My favorite room was their newly built theater room.  I spent part of my day in there watching some TV while my aunt tutored a neighbor kid.  When she finished, my uncle got home from work, and we got the boat all ready to go boating.  I found out that Josh had contacted my aunt before I came out and planned a couple things with her, boating being one of them.  So as I said before, I didn't plan anything, but Josh did for me.  Anyways, we got to the lake, which was five minutes away from their house, and got the boat out on the water.  The boys drove to a park by the lake and that's where we picked them up.  We spent the next couple of hours tubing.  It was a blast.  We might have had a little too much fun.. Sam nearly got his eye scratched out by Josh.  We stopped for a quick bite to eat some pizza on the beach and then we went out on the lake again, this time just enjoying the boat ride while my two younger cousins, Alyssa and Amberly, took a turn on the tubes.  After we were done, I left with the guys to get some snacks and then we went to my aunt and uncles house to watch a movie.  It felt good to just relax and watch the Princess Bride after a long day of boating.

The next day I spent the day with my aunt and uncle and the girls.  We went to the Mall of America.  The mall that has a theme park in the middle of it.  Now that's my kind of mall!  We only went into one store, and then spent the rest of the day in line and riding rides.  It was fun.  We then went to IKEA for some late lunch and wandered around the store for a bit.  When we got back to their house, I sat around and read for a while until my aunt and uncle were leaving to go to a neighbors for a BBQ.  I went with them and met some of their friends and listened to them chat about this and that.  Not too long after, Nick came to pick me up so I could join him and all the insulation boys for dinner.  We went to Buffalo Wild Wings and had a good time eating, talking, and watching UFC on the TVs.  We walked back to the boys' apartment once we finished eating and just hung out the rest of the night.

My aunt and uncle let me borrow one of their cars on Sunday morning to go to church with the guys.  I met up with them at their apartment and then got in one of their cars to drive the rest of the way to church.  We left with plenty of time to get to church and yet still ended up arriving late due to the fact that we got lost.  I made fun of them because you'd think that after three months, they'd finally know how to get to the church.  But no, apparently there are multiple routes to take and every week they somehow take a different one and get lost.  But church was good.  Josh and Sam both spoke in sacrament which was awesome.  I picked a great week to visit.  Nick got asked to speak the next week.. so unfortunately I missed out on his talk.
After church was over, we made our way back to the boys' apartment and just sat and relaxed for a while.  We made some cookies and then headed over to my aunt and uncles for dinner.  We ate, talked, and played cards for a while and had a good time.  Taylor then showed the guys that they could play video games on the big theater scene.  I thought I had lost them for the remainder of the night.  But they only played one game and decided to put in Dance Central so I could join in.  It was so much fun.  After that, the girls tried to get us to watch Sons of Provo with them.  But after five minutes they had to go to bed and we quickly turned it off and decided to go over to the lake.  When we got there, I went to the swings and started swinging.  Josh joined me while Nick and Sam went off exploring.  As we were swinging, Josh and I had a good conversation about life and started to reminisce about our past.  I still find it amazing that I met him at EFY and five years later we are still the best of friends.  Anyways, it was getting late so we decided it was time to leave so the boys could get back home.

I spent the majority of the day on Monday alone.  My aunt left early in the morning for girls camp, my uncle, Taylor, and Jayden all had work, and Alyssa and Amberly had volleyball camp.  So I decided to go for a run around the neighborhood.  That run lasted maybe two minutes and then I decided to just walk.  So I walked  around for a while exploring the different scenes of Minnesota and ended up at the lake and sat on a park bench for a while.  It felt good to just relax and get some exercise.  When I got back to their house, I ate some lunch and hopped in the shower.  I then spent some time taking a nap and reading until everyone got home from their various outings.  We ate dinner and had a family night lesson.  Not too soon after we finished, Josh and some of his co-workers came and picked me up to take me back to their apartment to hang out for the last time.  When we got there, Josh hopped in the shower so I hung out with some other guys there selling for the summer.  They were trying to teach me how to flick a playing card across the room.  We started making jokes about them putting their number on a card and then flicking it toward a girl.  It's hard to explain, but it was really funny.  After Josh got out of the shower, we went over to Nick's apartment to see how he was doing because he had an earache from getting water in his ear while boating.  So then we just spent the rest of the night there hanging out and enjoying my last night with them.  

That night as Josh was taking me home, there happened to be the coolest storm!  Now, many of you may know that I LOVE rain.  I get as giddy as a little kid on Christmas morning.  I'm weird, I know.  But I was in heaven.  There was lightning all around us and pouring rain!  I'm pretty sure Josh was trying to have a serious conversation with me, but I was too distracted by the weather.  I'm sure he was a little frustrated.  My bad.  So he decided to pull over somewhere so we could sit and enjoy the storm together.  

It was a great night.

But great nights always have to come to an end.  

Tuesday was pretty much the same as Monday, excluding the walk part of my day.  I sat around and read all day until Taylor got home from work and took me to the airport.  And then five hours later I was back in Salt Lake.

And that, my friends, concludes my trip out to Minnesota.  It wasn't the typical vacation people plan and take, but it was just what I needed.  A nice relaxing break from work and life at home to spend time with people I love.

:)

A summary of my summer

Summer is coming to an end and I haven't blogged once.  I have started many posts but get busy doing something else and then never come back to finish.  And then it gets to the point where I feel like I have so much to blog about that it becomes overwhelming.  I want to do a complete update on my life, but it would take too long.  So I put it off for three months.  

But lately there have been too many people talking about how keeping a journal is so important and since this blog is my way of keeping a journal, I finally have felt guilty about my lack of posting.  

So here I am.

Since it has been three months, I will not go into details about my life.  

I think a simple bullet list with suffice.

*I went to my first REAL game.  Well technically my second, but the first time I went I had a backstage pass and was in a suite due to a friend of mine who performed after the game ended.  So I didn't sit down and watch the game.

*I had a lot of friends get married.  I went to five receptions in the month of June, three all landed in the same week.  It was way fun to go to all those weddings and see how happy everyone was.  It did make me jealous, and partly sad because my wedding would have fit in along with all of theirs.  But oh well, my day will come soon enough.  I'm not worried.  For now I will just enjoy everyone else's weddings.  I have a lot more to attend this month.  

*My grandpa had open heart surgery.  It was a very scary and stressful time.  The surgery went well, but afterwards he had a hard time swallowing and everyday he became more frustrated that he had to stay in the hospital for so long.  It was hard to see him like that.  I love my grandpa so much and have always looked up to him.  He has always been so strong that it was hard to see him weak.  But he didn't give up and he is doing much better now.  Grandpa, if you still take the time to read my blog, I just want to let you know how much I love you.  You truly are the greatest role model I have.  I am so blessed and honored to be your granddaughter!  Thanks for everything you do for me.  I love you!!

*I turned 22.  It didn't phase me.  When you get older, your birthday's become less and less exciting.  It's just another day.  All I did this year, was eat.  I went out to breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  That was my day.  Nothing super special, but I enjoyed the company I was with and that's all that matters. 

*Trent and I became friends again.  I was really scared to come home from school because I knew I would see Trent a lot due to the fact that we share the same friends.  It was hard at first.  I mean, obviously it wouldn't be easy to come home and hang out with the guy you were almost going to marry.  But we talked one night and figured we weren't going to let it be hard.  And surprisingly enough, things have been okay.  It's not as hard anymore.  We can be friends. 

*There was a week in July that was pretty much family party week.  Relatives came into town and so a lot of parties and celebrations happened.  It didn't help that it was the week of the fourth of July.  But I didn't mind.  I love my family and always have fun seeing all my cousins. 

*I started reading again.  I had forgotten how much I love to get lost in a good story.  I just read two books on my trip to Lake Powell and am obsessed.  Too bad I'm back home and have work and other things to occupy my time again so I won't get to just sit and read all day.  But I will make time for it.  

Anyone have good suggestions?

*I have a real job now.  I work between 30 to 40 hours a week.  I work in accounting at Valet Auto Body in Draper.  I love it there.  The people I work with are way nice and friendly.  It's like one big family.  And even though it is still hard to realize that this is my life, that all I'm going to be doing now is working all the time, I just remember the money.  It feels sooo nice to get a paycheck every two weeks and realize this money doesn't have to just disappear into tuition or textbooks.  Sure it will now go towards buying a car and saving for future expenses and what not, but that stuff is still better than school :) 

*I went on two vacations all summer- to Minnesota and Lake Powell.  Best two weeks of my life.  But I will post more about them later.  I feel they deserve their own blog post.

And now that I've given a run down of my summer, here are just a few pictures I managed to take.  

REAL game

I got a bullet bike! Hah just kidding, it belongs to a friend of mine.  But don't I look like a natural on it? ;)

The happy couple! I still can't believe Soup is married.. but I'm so happy for him! Congrats Soup and Lucie!

Nick and I at Soup's wedding

I love all these boys.  

The two aces- Pace and Jace

Liz and I. Love her. 

I don't even know if I have words to describe this picture.  It just makes me happy.

All decked out in red white and blue for the Murray fourth of July parade!

Isn't he the cutest?

I thought it was funny that a camel was in the parade.. so I had to take a pic.

Chan and I dying of heat but still enjoying the parade

All the girls

One day these two will realize they are meant for each other.. :)

I love these girls.

We had some fun rocking out with the windows rolled down

Got new glasses that will last two months and then won't have any use because I'm getting lasik in September!

I got my diploma in the mail!  Now it's really official.  It's just sad that so much time and money went in to receiving that one piece of paper..

And lastly I thought I'd add this video just for fun.  We had to mow a church one day this summer and as we were mowing, it started to rain.  But we couldn't let the job go half done, so we stuck it out.  By the end of the day, I was soaked and covered in grass.  So when we got home, I let Christal spray me down..

:)