Be careful what you wish for

You might think your life isn't going anywhere. That you feel stuck. And maybe not in a depressing way, but just that you've come to the point in your life where you've graduated and now all you do is work. That's it. And that doesn't create a whole lot of social environment for you. Especially if you work at a jewelry store. No meeting guys there. They're there to buy a ring for another woman. Or are too high class and will spend $10,000 for a watch. Not really the kind of guy you're looking for. You attend church, which is the only social scene you are a part of. But you feel like it's a high school reunion every week and that you know everyone, so you don't care to fully engage yourself in activities throughout the week. You don't go on dates. People try to set you up, but they fall through or you're not interested. So you just make work your life. You spend your nights at home reading a book or watching a show on Netflix. You are not depressed. You actually don't mind spending all that time by yourself. But you do start to wish for something else in your life. Something that will get you out of the rut you are in. Something that will push you to be social again. 

And then you get called to serve in the Relief Society Presidency.

That's right folks, I am now the second counselor in my relief society presidency. It was a shock when I got the calling, until I realized it was exactly what I started wishing for. What a perfect way to get myself off my couch and get out and meet new people! Granted, it will mostly be girls I will get to know, but I could use some girlfriends. I have only had the calling for a few weeks now, and I've already met some wonderful girls. I also have realized I know no one in my ward. It's not a high school reunion like I first thought. The first week I sat up front in relief society, I don't think I could name even a quarter of the girls in that room. But with time, I will learn, I will make friends, I will serve, and it will help me branch out and be a little more outgoing.

And I know it is exactly where I need to be. I've had plenty of confirmations that this is right. That even though the calling terrifies me, I am meant to serve the women in my ward. 

God knows what he is doing.

:)
xoxo

Happiness is a Choice

I've been in this new mindset lately where I just accept things that come to me and try not to complain about them. It's amazing to find out that by doing that, you can be so much happier with life! 

For example:

* I've finally accepted my friendship with my Posse boys will never be the same again and have started making new friends and branching out. It's amazing how okay I have been with it all by just choosing to be happy for the ways our lives are going. Sure I still hope we will stay friends and get together to catch up every now and then, but I'm okay knowing we won't be those friends that go camping just the seven of us. The day had to come when I had to share them, and that day is now. Girlfriends and wives are coming into the picture and I'm finally okay with that. (As long as I can get along with the girls they choose ;) haha)

* I've decided to be super happy about all those successful couples that have found their true love and getting married. A lot of times people don't like to hear about all the lovey stories because it just reminds them of how alone they are in that department. But you know, I know my time will come, so for now I will be happy for those who's time is now. Plus I've realized I am a complete sucker for a good love story. Whether it is real life, in a movie/tv show, or a book, I can't help but get so excited to know how it all came about and the direction it is headed. I can live vicariously through them until it is my time. 

* I know I just made a post about how I didn't want to move away from my family, and I still don't, BUT I never said I couldn't do it. I have accepted that there could be a situation in which I would need to move away. And if that situation arose, I could do it. It would be hard, and something I never gave any thought to as being a possibility, but I won't write it off completely. Because you never know what life will bring you. I may end up marrying someone that has to go away for school or work and by that time I'd have to think of what is best for our lives together, not my life with my entire family.

So choose to be happy. Life will throw so many crazy things your way and if you don't like it, complaining won't do you any good. You just have to accept it and know things happen for a reason. Life will go on so you might as well be happy.

:)
xoxo

Quote of the Day

Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. 

Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. 

Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. 

Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

-Author Unknown

xoxo

:)

Familia

I've had a couple of conversations lately about if I would ever move away and live somewhere besides Utah.  My argument is always the same, that it would be so hard for me to leave my family.  Sure it would be awesome to explore the world and gain the experiences you might only get from being off on your own somewhere else.  But I love my family, and I love living close to all of them.

I don’t think people realize how close I am with my family.  I’m not even talking about just my immediate family but my relatives as well.  I am best friends with all my cousins.  I know all of them by name.  I could even list off most of their children.  I’ve grown up always doing things with my family.  Both of my parents come from a family of six kids, and both only have one sibling that lives outside of Utah.  The rest live within an hour and half of my house.  So being part of a very big family and being able to see the majority of them whenever I want is what I’m used to.  And the thought of changing that doesn't make sense to me.  I've loved growing up knowing all of my cousins, and I want the same experience for my future children.

After the last conversation I had though, I started questioning myself.  Could I move away?  What sort of adventures am I missing out on by not ever wanting to move away?  Am I being too big of a baby saying it would be hard for me?  The fact that the longest I've stayed away from home was three weeks?  Does that make me pathetic?  But then a family event happened this week that disregarded those questions. 

This week my brothers have been playing on a March madness basketball league.  It is put on through Murray and each year of graduates can get a team together to play against the other years.  Now, it’s just a little fun tournament, nothing too big and it only lasts one week, but my family goes to support and watch them.  Tuesday night, my entire family was there except my two younger siblings (due to rebellion and leaving for their own [softball] tournament in St George.)  Even my grandparents showed up.  So yes, there were 21 of us there cheering on my two brothers.

It was as I was sitting there with everyone when I looked around and realized why I didn't want to move away from my family.  I love the support and friendships we all have with each other.  No matter what is going on, we are there for each other.  My siblings are my best friends.  My nieces and nephews are all best friends.  Who would ever want to leave that?

So call me a baby.  Call me pathetic.  Call me whatever you’d like.  I don’t want to move away from my family.  If I am missing out on experiences out in the world, I don’t care.  People say “you don’t know what you’re missing.”  And they’re right.  I don’t know what I’m missing.  But I do know what I’d be missing at home if I were to leave.  So I’m perfectly content staying where I’m at. 

xoxo

:)

Update

My life lately has really only consisted of work.  But seeing as how most people like to hear about the dating life, I will include a brief update on that topic as well.

I quit my job at Valet Auto Body and have started work at O.C. Tanner.  It was a hard change for me at first.  I struggled with saying goodbye to my co-workers and going to a new job with new people.  I had finally gotten the hang of things at the body shop that I was scared to have to learn something new again.  But I have now been at O.C. Tanner for two months and I am so glad I made the switch.  I love my job and the people I work with.  Not to mention the many benefits I now get that weren’t offered at my last job.  So I’m pretty happy with where I am at.  I plan to be here for a long time.  And to answer those questions of what my job actually consists of; I work at the retail store, not the home office, as an accounting clerk.  The main part of my job is what they call the dailies.  I look through all the receipts a day at a time to make sure every sale was rung up right, that the computer matches the credit card machines, that the right sales people get credit for their sales, etc.  I also submit payroll, send out statements, do a lot of end of month reports, and random other little accounting type things.

 I am not dating anyone.  I haven’t since Josh and I broke up.  No I am not still depressed about it all.  Josh and I actually had a really good talk a couple weeks after the break up and things are good between us.  We are still friends.  Which maybe shouldn’t be the case, but I’ve come to realize I am friends with the majority of my exes.  My life is not normal in that aspect.  For example, let me tell the great story about my weekend following Valentine’s Day.  In the time frame of 24 hours, I ran into and talked to four out of the six guys I have kissed.  Three of which were in the same room at the same time.  And the best part about this story, I witnessed the fourth, who just happened to be my first boyfriend, propose to his now fiancé.  Now I realize I could have been all upset and depressed that I ran into all my failed relationships right after Valentine’s Day.  Talk about rubbing it in my face that I’m still single.  But all I really did was laugh.  I mean, what are the chances of all of that happening?  Yeah, not likely!  So of course it happened to me haha.  But I’ll accept it.  It keeps my life interesting and leaves me with pretty great stories to tell.

·         So life is great!  I can’t complain about anything.  Well, I could, but there is no point.  The good things in life far out way the bad that if I complained, I’d just be an ungrateful brat. 

xoxo

:)

I spoke too soon..

..I am now feeling a lot more sad about my life. 

Remember in my last post I talked about my situation and how it was a good thing I was dating someone?  Well, we broke up the day after I posted that.  So looks like those juicy details I promised for a later post will never get published.  It will stay in draft form. 

Break ups are never easy.  I might say this has been the worst so far.  My past break ups have been ones I've seen coming, or at least I realized afterward there were signs of something wrong.  This one took me completely by surprise.  Other break ups, I've gotten the feeling it was the right thing to do and was able to rely on that peaceful feeling to keep me strong through it all.  For this one, I'm still searching for that feeling.  

So, my heart is broken.  It is starting to heal, but very slowly.  I think I have mastered the motto "fake it till you make it."  I have learned to hide my true feelings and people think I'm completely fine.  But I'm not.  I know I will be.  I know that everything happens for a reason.  I know that my Heavenly Father knows what is best for me.  I have faith that he knows what he is doing.  I know in my past I have wanted many things that haven't happened.  I was devastated at first, but looking back I realize how much better my life is now not having gone the way I planned.  So I trust that everything will work out.

One thing that has always been a blessing after a crappy breakup, is realizing how many people I have in my life that I can count on.  I have people that will sit with me while I cry, talk to me on the phone for forty minutes just to distract me, make me get out of bed and leave my room to go do something, will drive an hour and a half just to be with me, buy me food and force me to eat it.  Seriously, the list goes on and on.  So thank you.  Thanks to all of you out there who love me enough to stay by my side during the hard times.  

:)

Lesson learned

My dear grandmother came up to me a week ago at my nephew's baby blessing and reminded me it has been too long since my last post.  I'm going to skip all the apologies and the promises to be better.  Cause let's face it, they aren't worth much when I never change anyways. 

Life has been great lately.  It's my favorite time of the year.  I love to see all the leaves turn different colors and the weather get cool enough to where it's the perfect temperature to be outside.  It has also been an interesting fall considering the fact that I'm not in school.  For seventeen years I have always started school at the end of August.  That is a long habit to break.  Especially when all of your friends go back to school.  So it was definitely a weird adjustment to realize I really am done with school.  That my job is my life now.  I have to admit I was sad.  To hear all my friends talk about who they are living with and what fun things they plan to do this next school year.  I was going to be out of the social scene.  And even when I go visit friends and see them enjoying the college life, I get sad.  But then I hear them talk about tests and how much homework they have and I'm back to being completely content with not being in school.  But it still puts me in an awkward position.  I don't feel like I fit in anywhere anymore.  All my friends my age are either married or in school.  I belong to neither category.  Instead, I'm a college graduate, living at home, and working full time.  It's a good thing I'm dating someone, or else I'd feel way more sad about my life situation.
(Yes, I am dating someone.  Which most people already know that fact.  But that topic will be discussed in a later post so you'll just have to wait for those juicy details ;) haha)

But for now, here is an interesting story for ya'll..

I can now say that my car has been towed AND booted all in the SAME DAY.  Seriously.  That happened. It was on October 13th.  Josh and I drove down to Provo that morning in order to enjoy some BYU Homecoming festivities.  We went to the parade and got ready for the football game.  We ended up being a little late to the game so Josh decided to park in the parking lot of an apartment complex thinking no one would check because of personal experience at that particular apartment.  I hesitated but considering I was already missing the game and still needed to find a ticket, I didn't protest too much.  First mistake.  We made our way to the stadium, found me a ticket, and then enjoyed the game with our friends.
Josh and I left the game early to beat the crowd and make it up to Salt Lake in time to see my good friend Heather get engaged.  We hurried to my car only to find my car not where we parked it.  Wonderful.  So we make our way over to the sign we ignored and called the tow company.  Now, since we were in a hurry, we decided to call Josh's roommate to pick us up and give us a ride.  Second mistake.  Little did we realize our communication of where we would be waiting didn't go through to him.  We waited for about 25 minutes with no signs of our ride and no luck in getting a hold of him.  By this time, the game had ended and traffic was increasing.  So much for trying to beat traffic.  So what do we do?  We run.  Note to self: work out more.  I was dying.  The cold air wasn't helping the fact that I was out of shape.  My lungs struggled and I coughed a lot.  But luckily the tow place was only a mile away so it wasn't too bad.  We got there and had to wait in line because they only let one customer in at a time.  Lame.  And after paying a lovely price of $175, we were finally on our way to Salt Lake.
Now oddly enough, we didn't get caught in too much traffic and we were making great time.  I was praying that we would make it in time.  But we barely missed the proposal by five minutes!  I had my friend Emily facetime me so I at least got to see it happen and then we parked and ran and was still able to congratulate and celebrate with the happy couple.
Afterwards, we continued our night with Heather and Cody on a double date.  We decided to drive separately to the restaurant and then carpool from there to the haunted house.  Third mistake.  So we met at Chili's and enjoyed a yummy dinner and some time catching up with each others lives.  We finished eating and decided to hop into Cody's car.  We stopped by a store real quick to buy a movie and then made our way to Nightmare of 13th.  We had a fun time at the haunted house.  I always love to get scared.  Although I hate how expensive haunted houses are.  But it was worth spending time with the people I was with.  And Josh learned that if he ever tries to disappear on me during something scary, I will find him and punch him hahah.
We left the haunted house and got dropped back off at my car.  We said our goodbyes and walked to my car to find a lovely surprise.  A boot.  You've got to be kidding me!  Seriously, how can someone be so unlucky to get towed AND booted in one day?  Curse it all.  So we looked around and found the small signs, no where near my car, that says the parking lot has a two hour time limit.  We call the guy to come remove the boot and when he shows up, we try and plead our case.  We gave him the sob story of our day and asked him to just remove the boot and not charge us.  But of course that doesn't work.  I still had to pay and could try to appeal it online.  Which I have done, and am still waiting to hear back on.  But that was our day.  I would have cried if Josh hadn't been so calm about it all.  He just kept laughing, so I laughed too.  We went back to my house and watched the movie we bought earlier to just relax and try to forget the money spent that day.  Which, in total, between Josh and I, was $332.  And that isn't including the amount spent in gas driving to and from Provo.
So, lesson learned.  Be careful where you choose to park.  Always look around for signs of warning for towing and boots.  Because trust me, even though it made for a great story to tell, it still was not fun spending all that money.


:)