Missionary

I never thought I'd have the opportunity to be a missionary in my own home. Even when we first adopted my brother and knew we would have to work with him to teach him the gospel I didn't think much of it. At that point in time we had actual missionaries come and teach him and I was up at school. He seemed to accept it and was baptized 4 months after being in our family. Only now we have come to find out he didn't fully understand what was happening and says he only did it because my mom wanted him to. I can't be too sure he really didn't understand because a part of me thinks he did, but now he is a typical teenager and thinks there are too many rules and that church is boring and a waste of time.

I know there are things that are poisoning his life right now. Things that are keeping the spirit from him so of course he is being led down a path filled with hatred and anger. Things he did in Ukraine but didn't have anyone telling him they are bad. Things he now knows are bad but they are too addicting. Things my family has never had to deal with before so it has become a great challenge with not knowing how to help him or what the right way to go about it is. Things that I believe are the source to his questioning the church.

When I moved home for the summer I didn't fully know about the struggles going on with Austin and my family. I only knew that Austin had become angrier and instead of Christal and him being best friends, they were now enemies. I hoped that my moving home could help settle some things. I am one person that Austin really gets along with. I am "the nice one" in my family. He can't be too mean to me or stay mad at me because I'm "too nice" and he feels bad. So because I'm "so nice" I hoped I could be a good example to him. But I think the best thing that has come from being it, is that I can talk to Austin about more deep things without him getting angry at me. He is able to honestly answer and talk back to me without hating me or telling me to shut up. And this very thing came in handy yesterday.

We got into a deep discussion about the church. He finally told me all his doubts and what he does and doesn't believe in. That he thinks his life is so much harder and I had it so easy because I grew up in the church. I don't want to go into too much detail but it ended with him at least agreeing to try harder. And with the help of a conversation my parents had with him last night about the "things" he is struggling with, I hope the spirit can come back to him so while he is trying and while I continue to help him, he will have that confirmation and know the truth.

So even though this is hard on me and my family, I know it is a blessing in disguise. Cause at least for me, my testimony has definitely grown stronger just by the one conversation we have had.

And I do believe there will be many more to come.

*Disclaimer: Austin isn't a bad kid. He isn't angry or mean all the time. He is just struggling with things right now. I say "things" because he deserves respect and privacy. And I love him no matter what.*

*Also: I quote about me being nice because they are things he has said and I don't want to sound arrogant. :)*