Party Weekend

I went home on Friday for two reasons. One- because it was Carson's birthday, and two- I wanted to spend some time with my family. I love my family and I needed to see them. They always know how to make me feel better and be happy.

My family is the best. :)

So I got home and after a while the rest of my family showed up. I first spent some time with Carson playing with him and his new monkey he got from build-a-bear and then I spent a while talking with all my sisters about my past week. They hadn't really heard about anything that was going on in my life with the whole breakup so they asked me about it all and how I was feeling. It was a really good conversation. They know exactly what to say to make me feel better. I sure do love them all. Then after that we all went to dinner. On the way there, Carson kept trying to get my attention as I was talking to Marcie and out of the blue he says "When are you going to laugh?" Best quote of the night! I seriously laughed so hard after that and then it became our little joke. I think he said it to me at least 50 more times that night. Man I sure do love that kid. So dinner was great fun with my fam. It was just all us kids minus Anthony and Marcella so it was definitely a party. Once we finished eating, I went with Nate and Marcie to the rec center to swim where we met up with Anthony and Marcella. It was a good time. I haven't swam in forever and especially at the rec center. I don't think I've been there since we had our graduation night party there. So it was a lot of fun. After that it was cake and ice cream time and then the kids went off to bed while the rest of us watched the end of Blades of Glory and the Olympics.

I woke up to a phone call from my mom Saturday morning and found out about the earthquake in Chile and how Hawaii had warnings for a tsunami which is where my parents are so they were shut inside their hotel wondering what was going to happen. That was a little scary to think about. Luckily everything was alright. Then after hearing that news, we talked for a while about how I was doing. I hadn't talked to her for a week after I called to tell her about the breakup so I had a lot of explaining to do about how my week went. Once we hung up, I hung out with my family for a bit before heading back up to Logan. My friend Ryan was having a party and I didn't want to miss out. I was a little nervous for it though because Landon was going to be there. It turned out to be ok though. He gave me a hug when he first got there and that was about all the interaction or acknowledgement of each other we had. It still was hard to see him though. Even though I've accepted the situation and know it was the right thing, doesn't mean I'm over him, and seeing him brings back those thoughts and feelings- and then of course I wonder what he's thinking.. But luckily there was a ton of people there and so I was able to keep myself busy enough and have fun. So it turned out to be a great fun party!

And now, once again, the weekend is over and I have to put my focus back on school. Lame.

Happy Birthday Carson

This cute little nephew of mine is now 4 years old! Boy does time fly by. I still remember when he was born! But I must say, this little kid always puts a smile on my face. We are best buds. And of course, I am his favorite aunt!

These are only a few pictures out of the maybe thousands that I have of us. Taking pictures is what we do best, besides having a blast together! :)

Boy do I love this kid :D

Happy Birthday Bud!!

Lazy

So it's just my luck to finally get over one sucky thing in my life only to bring on a new one- sickness. Now don't worry, this post isn't another "pity me my life sucks" type of post. I'm over that. My life doesn't suck and I'm actually doing really great considering things. Because even though I'm now sick, I must say I love lying in bed all day with the company of some other things I love:

It feels great to have an excuse to be lazy and enjoy the things I love without feeling guilty that I'm not doing anything productive :)

Explanation

I figure I should do a little explaining about my last post since I was very vague about what happened to me..

Last Saturday, Landon and I broke up. I didn't post much about it that night because I knew I'd end up saying things I'd regret later because I was an emotional wreck. I still am a mess but at least I've had time to really think through things and am starting to come to terms with it all.

Deep down, I think I always knew it was going to end sooner or later. But no one ever wants to think about that and so of course I found myself thinking the complete opposite- that it was never going to end. Yes, never ending meaning we'd get married. I was very happy with that thought. I mean who wouldn't be? To think you've found the one you'll spend the rest of eternity with would always be a great thought. It all seemed so perfect..

But I guess my wants and my plans are different from the Lord's. The Lord knows what is right for me. But why does doing the right thing sometimes the hardest thing to do? And even admitting it's the right thing, is super hard to do. I don't want to admit that Landon and I breaking up was the right thing, but I know it was.

I just think the worst part about it, is knowing I just lost my best friend. The person who was always there for me, the person I could text random things to during the day knowing he'd appreciate them, the person I'd look forward to hearing from most, the person who always put a smile on my face no matter what, the person who always made me feel good about myself. That person is now gone.

I know I have many other great friends that can fill those roles, and those friends have been so great and supportive to me the past couple of days, but it's just not the same.

I don't mean to make this into some big depressing post or to get pity from anyone. It's just what is happening in my life at the moment. Heartbreak is a part of life that we all have to go through no matter how bad it sucks. So I'm keeping my head up and trying to look on the bright side of things. I will be ok eventually. I just need time to heal.

Life is Full of Surprises..

..but not all surprises are good and I must say, I wish the bad ones didn't exist.

But they do exist and I need to accept them because they are a part of life. Things happen and we have to learn to deal with them as best as we can no matter how much they may suck.

Life will go on.

And in the meantime- fake it till you make it right?

Happy Valentines Day

I know I'm a day late, but I didn't have time to post anything yesterday. But I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentines Day!

It has now been one year since my family had the great opportunity to go to the temple to be sealed to my brother. It definitely changed my outlook on Valentines Day. I always would joke about how I hated it because it was Singles Awareness Day but last year gave a whole new meaning to the day. It's not just about if you have one person who loves you and gives you chocolate and flowers. It's just a day to remind EVERYONE how much you love them- even though we shouldn't need a special day set aside for that, we should be telling people everyday that we love them. But with last year being able to go into the temple and have such a great experience with my entire family, I can now say it's not the day that reminds me if I'm single or not, but the fact that I have so many people in my life that I love and know that this earth life isn't the only time I have to spend with them.

So to all of the wonderful people in my life, I just want to say

I love you!

I love you mom. I love you dad. I love you Anthony, Marcella, Benny, Lucy, Nate, Marcie, Sadie, Carson, Gracie, Tiffany, Blake, Chantell, Jarem, Austin, Christal. I love you Grandma and Grandpa. I love you Camille, Stacey, Janessa, and the rest of my cousins. I love you Landon. I love you Rylee, Ellen, Brooke, Abbey, Hanah, Jay, Nate, Ryan, Colin, and the rest of my friends.

I'm sorry I can't name all of you cause I'd be here forever, so-

I love you all!

Country Dancer

So about a year ago Rylee and I went country dancing a couple of times and on one particular night I danced with a very interesting person. His name was Brandon and he told me a lot about his life. Not the normal amount you talk about while dancing with a stranger, but detailed. He found out I was LDS after asking if I was a partier and then quickly went off about that he wasn't either and why he wasn't on a mission (he previously told me he was 20) because his grandma had cancer and just lots of horrible situations at home. So like I said before, not the normal topic of conversation. Once the song ended I said thanks and started to walk away when he stopped me and asked me for my number. I was caught off guard and for those who know me well know that I struggle saying no because I feel bad and because I'm not quick enough to just make one up, so I gave it to him. I didn't think much of it because I can always tell them no when I'm not face to face with them. So I go on the rest of the night dancing and having fun and forgot about this kid. Little did I know that after that night this kid would be super persistent in trying to hang out with me. He would call me all the time even after I said no and ignored him multiple times. This guy just didn't get the hint. One night when he started texting me, I handed my phone to a friend and let him text him. Long story short, when the conversation ended, the kid thought I was pregnant with an abusive boyfriend and told me he'd take care of me and my baby. Oh and he was drunk at the time, just like every other time he'd called me. Can you say crazy?! But luckily after that whole ordeal, I only heard from him maybe twice after that and everything was forgotten about.. until today..

So there I am waiting to donate plasma when this kid sits next to me. Now I'm thinking 'why does he look so familiar?' but I shrug it off. Then all of a sudden he starts talking to me and showing me pictures on his phone of his dad's house that is being built and a bear he shot and had stuffed. Now I'm trying to be friendly and act like I care when I really don't so I seem all interested. He goes off about all this stuff and I just smile and nod and in my head I'm thinking 'please let it be my turn so they can come and get me and I don't have to talk to this kid anymore.' Then out of the blue he asks for my name, AFTER the fact of telling me all about his dads house and this bear, and he tells me his: Brandon. It clicked. It was Country Dancer!! (The name he was known as around my friends who knew the situation) I couldn't believe it and I almost literally laughed out loud. Luckily the girl came and got me right as he asked if we could hang out sometime. I was in shock as I stood up and ended up saying sure and then just walked away. I then spent the rest of the time donating plasma laughing to myself not believing what just happened. What are the chances of running into him again?! Didn't think I'd ever have to deal with him again. It's just a good thing he didn't realize who I was cause that would've been an awkward conversation..